Blood Bowl Orcs painting: The first Black Orc Blockers

I mentioned in a previous post that I'm using the actual Black Orc Blocker models as Blitzers. The role of my BOBs has instead fallen to the rather sexy Orruk Brutes from Age of Sigmar, the first two of which are complete.

These photos really are awful!

These are lovely models to paint, with lots of nice detail to pick out.

The only issue is they're about the same size as the official BOB model - if anything they're smaller - which means that they may not be distinctive enough. I'll see how they look when all four of them are done, but if needs be what I can do is add the trophy pieces that come with the kit to their shoulders. I originally didn't want to do this as it's not very Blood Bowl, but it is the simplest way to mark them out as different, plus that little bit more brutal (pun intended).

Blood Bowl Underworld: Conversions!

Once my Orc team is finished I have a choice to make: Boring Humans or Underworld next.

...
...
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Of course I'm choosing Underworld!

So for the last week I've been building my players, and as mutations are a large part of the fun of the team I've decided to do some converting. And this is actual converting. I'm a pro at kitbashing, but for the first time in my life I've been using greenstuff of the non-liquid variety.

So what have I done?

A horned Linerat, with horns kindly donated by my previously-Necromantic, now Chaos-playing opponent

A Blitzer with a claw from the old Chaos mutations sprue

A Thrower with an extra arm. But where did that come from?

My conversion to represent Glart Smashrip (Jr.)!

Now that the disgusting Skaven are out of the way, it's on to the real stars of the team...

This one's not mutated, but I gave him the spare punch dagger from the Blitzer to differentiate him from the other player with the same body

This guy is growing some spikes / tentacles (TBD) from his neck

This is the mutation that they'll actually get on levelling up: Two Heads! Most people convert both of these looking forward, but that's too hard for my first go and this means he can see in all directions

And finally: Horns! My opponent doesn't know yet that he's donated another set of horns ;¬)

So that's what I've been up to, alongside painting my Black Orc Blockers (the first two of which I'll share when they're done). The non-BOB Orcs are all painted now, I just forgot to post them when I finished them.

Blood Bowl Orcs painting: The first batch

With my Goblin team finished and most definitely blooded (RIP Kutta Monsta 😭) I'm moving on to my Orc team from the main game's box.

So in relatively record time (for me) here are the first batch, all of which look a little better in person than in these pictures (where the armour looks a little too pink). They're not 100% finished as I'll add the numbers at the end once they're all painted, but they're otherwise complete for now!

A Lineork

A Thrower

A Blitzer

A Black Orc Blocker (which I will use as a Blitzer)

Comments and criticism are appreciated!

Blood Bowl match report: Da Fragile Rokkaz vs. The Infected away leg

Last weekend my fiancée and me went to the inhospitable wilds of "Guild Ford" for a friend's (he of the Necromantic Horrors team) birthday. On the Saturday evening we played a fun game of Dominion followed by Zombicide. Now I really like Zombicide, and cooperative miniatures games in general, but as is often the case with this one it devolved into arguments about who should do what and complaints about the mechanics of the car pieces (no pun intended).

We played the original series

Whatever, I chainsawed a lot of zombies to death out of the window of my stolen police car, and drove off into the distance hoping my Looney would manage to do the same thing the next morning.

Spoiler alert!: He didn't.

Pre-match

We set up our game in Unplug + Play, a new board game café in Guildford. I was very impressed, as although they're new they have a very broad selection of games, and the staff were very helpful and made great recommendations. These kept two young kids distracted whilst me and my opponent spent many hours on the Blood Bowl pitch.

Before the match began Da Kaptin, my coach, had to be extricated from a pile of his own vomit and half-eaten mushrooms. Da git had spent 20k of my treasury on a night of fungal excess!

Our teams were unchanged since last time, other than me gaining one Fan Factor and him losing one. That meant I had to spend 30k to induce Szczepan (a.k.a. Fungus the Loon) this time. I won +2 FAME(!) but nothing else of great note happened before the match began.

First half

My opponent won the toss and elected to receive. This left me with a tough choice: play Szczepan from the start and risk losing him to a quick score, or hold him off and risk losing him to a stall. I opted to play him from the start in the hope he'd take something out like he'd managed to do in the first half of the last game.

Kick-off!

Unfortunately the ball didn't scatter far enough and the Ghoul managed to grab it and head towards my right flank. The Werewolf headed that way too and surfed one of my poor Gobbos (who got Badly Hurt in the process). D'oh, I'd forgotten they could do that! I think I suffered an early turnover in my turn, and things weren't looking good.

Google helpfully animated the first turn

After their second turn they'd kinda-sorta caged up on my right (with the Ghoul on the sideline), and it was looking like an early score. But I had an idea...

The Necro team are pushing down my right

Szczepan spun off to try and hit things, but ended up not touching anything. This would be his only activation of the whole match, which is not 80k well spent :¬(

But more importantly my Looney, Kutta Monsta, spotted the Werewolf in prime blitz position, and went for him. He got there, rolled 13(!) on the armour roll, and then failed to do any more than stun him. Crap!

The Werewolf is down but so is my Troll, I think from a failed block on a Zombie

Bad things then happened. The Wight who was starting the turn basing my Looney decided to do what is only natural, and promptly killed him! I don't have a photo of this but there is a video, and I'm not sharing that because it's hard to tell what's going on with all the waterworks and rending of garments. The Ghoul then made it to within scoring range, and this was only the start of turn three :¬/

I had one shot and I went for it: a 2-dice uphill blitz from one of my Goblins against the Ghoul. I got a POW! and a Defender Stumbles, but due to its stupid Dodge *cough* hypocrite *cough* I only succeeded in forcing it to need a dodge next turn.

The Ghoul (bottom right) is so close, but my stout-hearted Gobbo is holding the line! Note the Troll is still down :¬/

But then a Wight came in and blitzed the way clear, and the Ghoul scored.

Strength 3 should be banned!

I set up to try and do some damage (albeit with no Looney nor Szczepan), but found it hard to find a way through.

How things looked at the end of my turn 4

Not much had changed by the end of the Necro turn 6, but some readers may spot what I'm up to

So it was my turn 6, and I felt running it in was looking unlikely. My opponent had left a gap on my right, where I could hand off to the Goblin by Fish Stikz (the blue Troll) and make a run for it. But with Zombies, a Flesh Golem, and a Werewolf ready to go after him that seemed too risky.

And so instead I decided to do my first ever throw teammate in the tabletop game!

My opponent's face

Let's see what it took to succeed:

1. The Zombie basing Sprokkit (the green Troll) had to be knocked over, which a Goblin somehow managed to do: 5/9
2. A hand-off from the ball carrier to the 'lucky' projectile: 4/6
3. Really Stupid: 5/6
4. Always Hungry: 5/6
5. Throw: 4/6, which he fumbled, leading to a 4+ Loner roll and a subsequent success.
6. Three scatters, which moved him back and into a tackle zone (damnit!).
7. Landing in one tackle zone: 2/6
8. Dodge out of a tackle zone with Dodge: 8/9
9. Go For It! to score: 5/6

Ignoring the effect of the re-roll on the throw (which makes the probability hellishly complex to calculate), that makes my odds something like 4%. But it worked, and my opponent looked rather pissed off!

Gobo da Gobbo did me proud!

The rest of the half wasn't that exciting, and that was a good thing as I was physically shaking after that equaliser, as were the fans!

Second half

I started the second half hoping to preserve the 1-1 scoreline, but I thought those odds weren't good. And that seemed to be the case, as the ball scattered into my end zone and the Gobbo I sent back to pick it up fumbled it, even with a re-roll. Then the Wight on my left CASed one of my Goblins  (another Badly Hurt), letting the Werewolf run at the ball.

Matt da Travella (foreground) is currently thinking only in expletives

Luckily he managed to pick up the ball this time, and a friend came to help him out

The undead were slowly enveloping my central players, leaving some of the Zombies and a Wight free to run at my ball carrier giving the Werewolf a 2-dice block against him. Surely a Necromantic TD was in sight?

:¬D

Down and Both Down! This would obviously free up the ball, but with a turnover there was a risk of me running off with the ball with my other player. So my opponent did the only sensible thing: he re-rolled, saying "I didn't even use one last half, so I might as well use them".

I was laughing; he certainly wasn't

I don't know what I'd done to please Nuffle so, but with that amazing piece of luck I did what all good Gobbos would do: I ran like the zoggin' wind!

Cue Dr Zoidberg: "Woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop!"

The rest of the half became a story of me trying to screen as best I could, as the ball slowly made its way forward on my left flank.

"'scuse me, miss"

Screening and stalling like a boss on turn 17

After scoring a TD on my turn 18, I offered three sacrifices to Nuffle to thank Him for His divine intervention.

"Please accept these offerings as a sign of my devotion, oh Nuffle"

 And with the hope of getting some more SPP for his players, the beatings began...

No injuries!

Post-match interview

I should not have won that game. I scored a TTM TD with a 5-10% success rate and only managed to score in the second half due to a failed block with re-roll. Yes I'd been unlucky on armour breaks (I think I only got one the entire match) but this was something else.

I also screwed up by putting Szczepan on from the start. Against such a fast team I'd have been better waiting until after they'd scored. I accept that I probably have a lot to learn with Goblins, but even against a brand new player they are really difficult to play with.

My opponent was much improved. He was holding back his Werewolf as a safety, making it scary for me to try and run past his line, and he only made 3 Illegal procedures this match :¬p

My opponent said next time he plays he'd like to play against a different coach, or at least against me when I'm coaching a different team. The good news is he ordered some Chaos Chosen for his birthday, and two friends said they'd create a Skaven team they'd share. Although thinking about it, Skaven are never good news...

Admin

We each had two level-ups. His Ghoul rolled doubles but he went for Block, and his Werewolf got the same on a normal roll. Unfortunately my MVP missed BOTH Trolls AGAIN, so I added Side Step to two Goblins.

I got 90k from the match, so with 190k in my treasury I hired a new Looney, and am now mulling over what to do next. I feel like getting a Fanatic is a good idea, but then my TV will be higher than his (and any starting team) meaning I'm no longer getting inducements. But if I don't spend it, Da Kaptin will just snort it straight up his nose again...

Blood Bowl league rules

These are the house rules I'm using for Blood Bowl (which I'll update as they change).

Please let me know if there's anything you think I'm missing.

Da rulez

• We are using the 2016 GW version of the rules unless otherwise stated.
• Piling On does not require a re-roll.
• The Illegal Procedures rule is only in play if both coaches agree.
• All teams, other than Dorfs, start with three free Fan Factor (that does count towards their TV). Dorfs can also start with it, so long as they apologise to every other coach in the league before their first game.
• Wizards aren't allowed.

Da teamz

• The team rosters are those taken from the 2017 Almanac or a later Spike! Magazine / Almanac.
• Kislev, Bretonnian, and Khorne teams are allowed, based on their NAF rules.
• Slann and Simyin are not allowed.
• "Humans" are renamed to "Boring Humans" or "Empire" to differentiate them from about 12 other teams.
• "Dwarfs" are renamed to "Boring Dwarfs" or "Dorfs" to differentiate them from Chaos Dwarfs. 
• Khemri Blitzers and Throwers get Thick Skull (for fluff reasons: all other skellingtons get this so why don't they?)

Star Players

• Fungus the Loon has been replaced by Szczepan.

Szczepan!

• There is a new star player named Sneakz who can be induced for 190k by everyone except Dorfs. His stats are 7-2-4-7 and he has the following skills: Loner, Diving Catch, Dodge, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Sure Feet.

Sneakz!

Blood Bowl match report: Da Fragile Rokkaz vs. The Infected home leg

With the lists in my last post, it's on to the game!

Pre-match

I induced Szczepan (a.k.a. Fungus the Loon) for some added muscle and won +1 FAME, so clearly da fanz were excited about a home game :¬D The weather was good and we had no other special rules in effect, although my opponent said that as he was learning he wanted to use the Illegal Procedure rule. I'm not a fan of this as it's a bit harsh, but I relented and over the course of the game he lost maybe 3+ re-rolls due to it (out of 6) whilst I lost one. To his credit he said including the rule was the right thing to do, so he didn't begrudge losing so many re-rolls.

First half

I won the toss and elected to receive, in the hope that I could do enough damage with both special weapons on the pitch to make the second half easier.

My opponent deployed rather aggressively given he was kicking, whilst I spread out so that I could pick up the ball wherever it landed... unfortunately that was in my end zone, and after scattering it was on the edge of the pitch.

There was going to be a lot of punching from the start!

The undead were staring at some scary players >:¬)

Stupid ball!

The half started with Szczepan going on his Fanatic rampage and in his first swing he KO'd the only Flesh Golem on the pitch! Then he stunned a line Zombie and the Looney did the same to another Zombie.

Two stunned and no more Flesh Golem. Yay for violence!

And somehow my Gobbos managed to secure the ball!

That ball is almost as big as him!

Over the next few turns my ball carrier moved across from my bottom right third to form a cage on the left of the line of scrimmage, hoping that Szczepan would smash apart the undead on that flank. But no luck: somehow even with MV4 he managed to dodge around the opposition without hitting them, sometimes making no blocks out of 4 attempts! He's a dancer, not a fighter. IIRC my carrier got marked at one point, so I handed it off and moved the ball centrally behind my lines in the hope of clearing space for a break.

How we ended up after a bit of back-and-forth

A highlight for me during these turns was spotting the Werewolf on his own and sending my Looney at him like a squig-oil powered missile, KOing the ded 'un!

The Looney has a clear shot on (his version) of a goal: the Werewolf!

After a few turns of this jostling the clock was ticking down and I was down a Goblin due to a Badly Hurt result (thank you, Stunty!) and another one due to a ref who clearly doesn't understand what the crowd at a Goblin home game want. I hadn't moved past the line of scrimmage so I decided I had to make a dash for it.

This is about the point that I made my run to score

It involved a lot of Stunty-dodging, but with only one dodge needed for my ball carrier it was worth it. He ran through the gap, other unmarked players followed to screen, and the remainder dodged out and around to mark / screen the opposition as necessary. And then on my turn 8 Matt da Travella got it into touch!

A Both Down from The Infected gave me a Turnover and a clear run on goal

A traditional turn 8 Goblin deployment ;¬)

Second half
Things started badly for me this half. The KOd Werewolf and Flesh Golem had come back on turn 8 of the previous half, whilst only one of my two KOs came back even with the 're-roll' at the start of the second half. That meant it was 12 undead (one Zombie on the bench, obvs.) vs. 10 Goblins, with both Secret Weapons locked away in the stadium dungeons. I did at least win Cheering Fans again!

The thin green line

Very quickly I got overrun on my right flank, with the Werewolf surfing a Gobbo to clear a path for the Ghoul to score, leaving it 1-1 and me worried I'd be losing 2-1 before long.

The Ghoul / Girl makes it past what constitutes a Goblin defence

I set up to receive and was planning how to collect it and considering going for a throw teammate, even if that would just seal a draw. But then things went from bad to worse: a blitz on the kick-off table!

These Zombies were more 28 Days Later than Night of the Living Dead :¬(

At this point I thought I'd lost it, having screwed up by not properly securing my flanks when deploying, so I moved back as much as I could to secure the ball (and managed to pick it up). After my opponent's turn my ball carrier was two squares from my endzone with a positional of some ilk basing him, and the other three non-Flesh Golem positionals nearby.

I figured I had one shot at this so I went for it: my carrier dodged out and, using two GFIs, managed to reposition to my left flank. Then my other Goblins, who were all marked, managed to dodge out and through multiple tackle zones to screen him. Sprokkit (the green Troll) and a final Gobbo then moved as far forward as possible from the carrier in order to be ready for a handoff and throw team mate the next turn.

This is what I'd managed after all those Stunty dodges

This left his fast players on the other side of the pitch, and his Zombies with no easy way to get to my ball carrier. I can't remember how I got the turnover, but once I did my carrier ran forward, handed off to Bigmouf Brio, who in turn ran his little legs towards the endzone. I decided against the TTM as it just wasn't needed given how slow Zombies are.

Cheezit!

Realising he'd lost, my opponent finally decided to make a proppa game of it and resorted to fouling, so whilst my carrier stalled by the endzone the game devolved into two areas of action: 8 undead fouling Fish Stikz the Troll (nothing :¬) ), and a handful of Goblins trying to foul a Ghoul (KO!) and a Werewolf (nothing :¬( ).

Fouling time!

And when turn 16 came around, Bigmouf Brio took one step forward and finished the match!

Touchdown!

Post-match interview

That was such a good game, and so close! Until I managed to pull off my run from the right to the left flank in the second half it was almost certainly going to be 2-1 to my opponent, but Nuffle smiled on me and with the help of Stunty, Dodge, and a re-roll I made it by the skin of my teeth.

This was a match where I don't think the luck unduly favoured either of us: I got lucky taking out the Flesh Golem with the first action of the game, but I only got a KO on the opposition twice after that in the whole match (one of these was a T15 foul). And my Looney failed armour more times than is expected against AV8 models. We both had a lot of luck on dodging: he kept making 4+ dodge rolls with Zombies (not something I'd recommend trying), and I pushed Stunty-dodging to the extreme in a couple of turns which really mattered.

This is my opponent's first full game of Blood Bowl against another human, and he did very well. He over-committed his fast pieces at the end which let me slip away (one held back as a sweeper and I'd have had more trouble), but that's something we all do when we smell blood, and if that's the worst mistake in a match I think that's something to be proud of!

As for me:

• I stand by my decision to play both Special Weapons from the start, as delaying bringing one on would have risked losing it to a sending off after a turn or two.
• Bringing Bribes rather than the star player would have helped here, but buying a Bribe for one Looney seemed like overkill and I liked the extra strength Szczepan provided.
• I forgot about the blitz result and it nearly lost me the game. I won't forget again!
• I finished both halves with at least one re-roll left. Given I'd gained one in each half from kick-off results this seems OK, as whilst I could have started with only three there will be some games where I'll need to make more -2D blocks (which I avoided in this game).

Admin

Kutta Monsta the Looney deservedly won my MVP, I gained one Fan Factor, and pocketed 60k in winnings. The opposition awarded their MVP to the Werewolf, lost one Fan Factor (rolling snake eyes to do so!), and gained 40k.

I now need to decide what to do with the 150k sitting in the bank. If I don't spend it there's a risk Da Kaptin (my head coach) will blow some of it on 'shrooms, but I like the free inducements as they give me some flexibility. Alternatively I could hire...

• A Fanatic of my own, who won't be as good as Szczepan but at least they don't have Loner and will skill up over time.
• A Bomma, which is basically a turnover generator but good against AG2 players.
• One of the other positionals, who all look fun and aren't reliant on Bribes.

Decisions, decisions...